Today was not going to be a normal day for Officer Perturb. He woke up looking at himself. He felt unsettled seeing his face. Today would be a very hectic day where he had lots of bad luck. Officer Perturb’s day started normally (at first). He woke up at exactly the time he always did, 7:06 am. This is a very unsettling time, because added up, the digits equaled thirteen. As usual, the first thing Officer Perturb did was look over at his sleeping wife, breathing in and out. Even while sleeping, Ms. Perturbed shivered. She must’ve been very uncomfortable. Officer Perturb was the type of person to make you unsettled and as a result, Ms. Perturbed was unsettled as well. Goosebumps rose on her arm as he breathed on her as he slowly drifted closer to her. After eight minutes, Officer Perturb took a walk. Without changing out of his pajamas, he crab-walked around his neighbor’s house nine times, as he always did. Officer Perturb crab-walked so fast, the wind created mini leaf tornados in his wake. His neighbor, Little Ms. Annihilate, destroyed all of his tornados seconds after they were created. After she shook her head, she felt very uncomfortable. Even the tornados felt uncomfortable. Officer Perturb walked back to his house, quickly changed into his uniform, and left for work. He felt very satisfied that he made people uncomfortable. Because of course, that’s what he did best.

Today, Officer Perturb had to do something very important. He had to interrogate his dear friend, Captain Capricious, for a murder mystery. The only problem was, Capricious changed his mind a lot at random times. As Officer Perturb was walking, he stepped on a sharp pebble. “Ouch,” he said. That was his first sign of bad luck.

The second Officer Perturb walked into the police station, he was immediately ushered into the room with Captain Capricious, who was always changing his mind. “Hello, old friend, how has your day been so far?”

“Good,” Officer Perturb said. “Look, Captain Capricious, you know why I am here,” Officer Perturb paused. Then Officer Perturb stared at him blankly, and reached out and touched his face with the palm of his hand. Captain Capricious shifted his foot uncomfortably. SHRIEK!!! His boot shrieked across the ground. “You’re here to interrogate me about the murder, that I did not do!”

“Where were you the night of the murder?” asked Officer Perturb.

“On my ship,” replied Captain Capricious.

“But this camera footage shows you being right outside the house five minutes after the murder!”

Then, Captain Capricious refused to talk. That got Officer Perturb upset. “Come on old friend, just admit it! Something bad might happen to both of us if you refuse to tell!”

“JLSKDFHKA HLFS GELFSFSDF NTOTTT AYNYYYMYOYRYEY  HIFSUFSFS SHUHCHKhS!” Captain Capricious yelled as he punched Officer Perturb in the nose. Then his nose started bleeding.

Officer Perturb looked up at Captain Capricious, with blood splattering as it hit the ground. Captain Capricious grew very uncomfortable, and he looked away. “Guess it’s time for my lunch break,” Officer Perturb sighed.

On his way to lunch, Officer Perturb heard heavy footsteps from behind him. Officer Perturb turned around. It was his boss, Car Car Edhor, a very evil person. “If you don’t get Captain Capricious to confess, I WILL FIRE YOU!!!” Officer Perturb just stared at him, perturbed, because he knew that there was a high chance that he would lose his job, “Jeez.”

As Officer Perturb sat down to eat his face sandwich, he didn’t know what to do. As usual, he looked disturbed, but the other police officers could tell that there was something even more disturbing on his face than normal. A new police officer that Officer Perturb didn’t really know walked up to him. “Heh heh heh. Hi there Officer Uncomfortable. I heard dat yo face is gonna get slapped and fired by yer boss Racso Edhor, and when yo face does get slapped and whacked, I gonna get dat job of yers cos he mai pap, and mai pap gonna gimme wat eva I waaaant. Oh and by the double-u, u hav dem red paints on yer nose.” Then he walked away, shaking his head.

Officer Perturb tried to think of what to do, because he knew that he would get fired if he didn’t, and that made him feel pressured. Officer Perturb was only good at one thing, and that was making people feel perturbed! Officer Perturb knew that there was only one thing that he could do. He had to just try to be as perturbing as possible.

As Officer Perturb walked into the interrogation room, he just sat down, crossed one leg over the other, and stared. He just blankly stared slightly away from Captain Capricious’ face. Captain Capricious started to feel very uncomfortable. Officer Perturb just continued to stare. He could see the sweat slowly falling down his brow. It splattered on the floor. Captain Capricious started shifting his foot. SHRIEK! Then, Officer Perturb stood up and ran around Captain Capricious as quickly and as uncomfortably as possible.

“Errm, what are you doing?” Captain Capricious started to look very uncomfortable

Officer Perturb just continued to run around in circles, and Captain Capricious couldn’t hold it in. He was too uncomfortable. “OKAY OKAY FINE! I COMMITTED THE MURDER!” Then he ran out of the room as fast as he could.

Officer Perturb ended up keeping his job, and he tried to become as normal as possible. He is now known as Officer Normal, for only being normal. He always respected his wife by not staring at her, and he got promoted to head and now he earns lots of money.