July 2nd, 1863

My Dearest Amelia,

Please forgive me for burdening you with my sorrow, but I must tell you what has been happening here in Gettysburg. Yesterday, in the first hours of battle, the leader of our battalion, General John Reynolds was killed by the Southern invaders. It seems to me that at least twenty thousand of our men were killed just yesterday. Even though we lost so many men, we were able to take down around the same number of their troops. General Meade has been calmly leading us through the battle. Today, we were able to push back General Robert E. Lee and the Confederates, and I hope that this will be a turning point for us in the war. 

Please don’t worry about me, Amelia, for I have been lucky to survive while most of my comrades have perished. I’m not so afraid to die, but rather to miss out on all the experiences that await me in life with you. At those times that I cannot keep myself from fear, I continue to hold on to the photo that you gave me before I had to leave for this god-forsaken bloodbath. I wish the Southerners could have settled this dispute another way rather than start a war. Even with such an important reason for war as abolishing slavery, I still wish that we could have avoided all of this death and suffering. The way I keep my humanity is by thinking about you and imagining what you would think of me if I did anything immoral. I am trying my hardest to avoid doing something that I will regret in the future.

I don’t believe that war in general accomplishes anything. The only thing war can accomplish for sure is pain. However, I believe that the cause of this war is a very important issue, and that it is worth fighting for. I want to come back home to you and Rover, but I am ready to die for this cause. Everyday I think about my friend, James. He was a runaway slave living next door to me. One day I went outside to go play with him, when I saw him being dragged away by a slave catcher. I wanted to help him but I was frozen with fear. Even though I regret not helping him then, knowing what he has been going through, gives me the strength to fight for him and all the other slaves still suffering today.

Sending you all my love,

Charles