Mr. Mitigate was very good at making things better. Mr. Mitigate was single and ready to mingle. He didn’t have a girlfriend or a wife, so he focused mostly on work to diminish the pain. Mr. Mitigate mended his clients issues so he could reduce the pain of his own issues. Mr. Mitigate was one of the best couples therapist because it only took one appointment to solve his clients’ problems. You could say he mitigated all of their issues.  He was happy and very pleased with his job.

One morning Mr. Mitigate was helping Mr. Haggle (who loved to bargain for deals) and Little Ms. Copious (who loved to have an abundance in supply of something) their issue was that Mr. Haggle kept arguing that Little Miss Copious should wake up earlier. Little Ms. Copious said, ”We should have plenty of sleep.” Mr. Haggle said, ”Less sleep, so we can spend time bargaining with people to make more money in the morning.”  Mr. Mitigate found their solution.”Why doesn’t Mr.Haggle wake up earlier, and Little Ms. Copious wake up later.” Mr. Mitigate had a catchphrase that he said after helping a client. It was,”You have been MITIGATED!”

Later on Mr. Mitigated had some other clients that said that they had some problems with Officer Perturb (who made people unsettled) and his partner Ms. Meticulous (someone who is very neat and precise). They were arguing about how messy Officer Perturb was. Ms. Meticulous was upset about how he left things all over the place. He left his food everywhere. He also let in the rats just to make her upset. Officer Perturb ate only the potato skin just to make her angry. As she said this Mr. Mitigate could see Officer Perturb smirking in the other seat. Then it hit Mr. Mitigate. He said,”If you love him, then you need to make some sacrifices. Let him be himself, and you can make minor changes instead of everything at once.”  Then he proceeded to say,”You have been MITIGATED!”

One hour later another customer that went by Little Ms. Annihilate (Who liked to utterly destroy something/someone) came in claiming that her husband Mr. Negligent (To neglect your duties) was cheating. Mr. Mitigate was confused because Mr. Negligent was not present during this accusation? Mr. Mitigate told her to take him to a place where he might be. Ms. Annihilate took Mr. Mitigate to a local restaurant, and found Mr. Negligent on a “date.” She scolded him and yelled at him very loudly. Mr. Mitigate thought he was done, so he went on his merry way. He mumbled under his breath after he walked away. ”You have been MITIGATED!”

The next day, Mr. Mitigate woke up, brushed his teeth, and took a hot bath. Mr. Mitigate was on his way to the coffee shop, when he saw one of the couples arguing. He thought that was odd because had already helped them. He got some coffee and went to work. When Mr. Mitigate got there he sat at his desk and looked at his appointments for the day. He saw that he was clear for the day, but he stayed in the office for any emergency meetings. An hour passed, he heard screaming through the door.

The next thing he knew, one of the couples from yesterday was yelling right in front of him about all of the issues they had. All of a sudden, the other two couples came in yelling. It was out of control because they were yelling at one another about who was going first. All the women were fighting, and all the men were fighting. Mr. Mitigate mitigated the situation by first stopping the fight, then separating the couples into groups. Finally he decided to go in the order that they came in yesterday.

Mr. Haggle and Little Ms. Copious were first. Their new issue was that they barely saw each other at all. Mr. Mitigate was stumped, but he prevailed with a new and improved idea. His idea was that one of them slowly compromise. They were adults and needed to act like it’ he told them to decide on either sleeping in or waking up earlier. He was stern and got the job done for good this time.

The second couple had a bigger issue. Ms. Meticulous said that she didn’t love Officer Perturb enough to deal with him. Mr. Mitigate was going to talk when Officer Perturb interrupted with, “SEE YA NEVER EVER EVER AGAIN!” So Mr. Mitigate just left it as it was and excused himself. Ms. Meticulous started crying, so Mr. Mitigate minimized the pain by saying, “I know it hurts, but you have to move on and leave him be.”

The last couple Little Ms. Annihilate and Mr. Negligent came in and Mr. Negligent said, “That person on the ‘date’ with me was my boss’ boss!” Mr. Negligent was trying to get a promotion and it was ruined by their assumptions of cheating. Mr. Mitigate had nothing to say but that he was wrong. That was the first time Mr. Mitigated ever said those words in his entire life. He felt like a changed man and felt more like a Mr. Mediocre (just for that day), since his mitigation skills were so-so.

Mr. Mitigate was very cautious on his final decisions so he didn’t make any more messes.