“I sustain myself with the love of family.” – Maya Angelou. Family is one of the most crucial things in my life. I have what is called a blended family. I have two older half siblings and two little sisters, one is transgender. I’m the middle of five kids. A family can be a few people that you are really close to or it could be your full blooded siblings, it could be your mom’s host siblings children, your great-grandpa’s cousin, your friends or your community. I strongly believe that a family is defined by love not blood.
When I say something like ‘I was hanging out with my brother’ in front of one of my friends she corrects me, and says, “half brother”. I find this very irritating because even though he has a different mom, he is still my brother. I think that the name “half sibling” is stupid why can’t we just call them my siblings with another mom, or something like that? I get touchy when someone talks about how my siblings are less important because they are my half siblings not my full siblings. I read the article: Please stop telling my daughter that her sibling is her “half-sister” by Rachel Sobel. In the article they said something that I thought was so sweet: ‘We don’t use the term “half-sister” because these girls are not half anything. They’re whole sisters that love each other with their whole hearts.”
I walk up the dark cold steps worrying about not being included or welcomed or having my transgender sister along with my friends and I. When I walk through the front door, light fills my eyes. All the amazing smells of fall from the kitchen dance before my nose, taunting me more and more as the smells get even better and better. After a warm welcome and some turkey, the worries that I had walking up the steps evaporate from me. That first time I went to my mom’s friend’s house for Thanksgiving. Even though I had known them forever I was still nervous. Now when I walk through their front door I feel like I am walking into one of my relatives’ houses.
The sun shines through the deep green leaves and onto the moist green grass. The warm sweet tea tickles my lips. The sturdy back of the metal chair supports my back making me feel stronger. The rainbow flowers in peak bloom catch my eye as I scan the beautiful summer garden. My great uncle’s mellow voice explains the crazy fact of my ancestors, telling story after story about how all the pieces fit together in a way that seems to make sense. It’s crazy that he can even make sense of it because my family is so confusing. The purpose of me learning about my family is so that I have a deep understanding of all the people that made me posible. Here are a few reasons why it’s very important to learn about family history: so that we can ‘pass down family information’, we can learn our family heritage and where we came from. It’s where our past became our present.’
I wrote this essay because half siblings are still siblings, your transgender sister can identify any way she wants and still be your sibling, and your third removed cousins can still be your cousins. All this is important because we support who we love and all ways should. You define your family not anyone else. Family is family however you want to define that.