“Come on!” 

“Do you want to join us on the court? We need one more player for our team!” 

“Sure,” I sighed. 

Me and my friends have been playing basketball together since middle school, I’ve never really minded basketball but I was expected to love it. 

You see my dad was a basketball player who has retired, a pretty famous player as well. I was really good at basketball but it just never sat right with me. I really liked writing, books, and ESPECIALLY poetry. Whenever I read poetry I felt like I was in a different world, I felt like each and every word of a poem was a cloud fluffier than ever, as the cloud slowly flew away. 

  I decided no one could ever know about my passion for poetry.

Plus my dad would always talk about how I would become the next famous basketball player of my generation, and my dad was always bragging to his friends about how good I was, or about how tall I was, and about how I would be the best player to ever exist. 

I basically expected the fact that I would be a basketball player and I would just have to deal with it, but basketball just never felt right and whenever I played I found himself just not finding any interest in it, it felt like I was just tossing a ball around on a court, everyday felt like the I was reliving the same day.

I would go to school, come back, change, and go play basketball. Just like dad wanted.

But one day in the library I found a book full of poetry. 

As soon as I opened the book I felt smothered by it, I was trapped in this new world of warmth and music, I felt like I was floating on a cloud and before I knew it, the book ended, the next day I took more books and more books until I was a regular visitor. 

After a while I started to realize that poetry was something like I’ve never seen before, and that’s what I wanted to do with my life. Obviously I wasn’t going to tell my father because it would break his heart, so I just visited the library in secret every now and then, and by the end of the month I read every book in the poetry section. 

It’s not like it was a huge library, there were about only 5 books in the poetry section.

But that’s when I realized just how much poetry meant to me those few weeks when there were no poetry books. I felt like I was constantly falling down a well with no warmth, just silence, no entertainment, no music with nothing to keep me grounded.

 When new poetry books arrived, I read 3 in one day! I always read at the library, of course because if my dad saw me reading in my free time instead of playing basketball, he was going to complain and talk about how I should be practicing even in my free time.

So when practice was over I would go to the library and read.

 I was also a fast reader so I wasn’t out for long. 

When I came home I always hid the books in my backpack and I read in my room pretending to be doing something for school, I would fall asleep to poetry every night, and would have dreams filled with warmth, comfort, and reassurance.

  “Good game”

my friend said as they sat down after playing a long game. 

I was pretty good at basketball and that’s why everyone wanted me on their team.

Everyone thinks that If you’re good at something you have to like it, but I feel like it doesn’t matter if you’re good at something or not, as long as you have a passion for it. 

After all my friends headed home I walked back to my place. 

My backpack almost pulled me down as I put it on my back. It’s not like it was anything new. 

My backpack is always heavy, filled with either books, or gear. 

I let out a grunt as I finally sat back up and started walking to my place once again. I was still in the court, it was cloudy but somehow still sunny at the same time, it was cold outside but I didn’t notice I was too sweaty and struggling to even walk home. There was no one else outside all my friends live on one side of the neighborhood and I live on the other, my house is only 5 minutes away from the court so it’s not that long of a walk. 

  When I got home it smelled like dirty socks and fresh tomato soup and everyone knew what that meant,

 “YES!!!” I screamed, “I LOVE TOMATO SOUP!!!”

 “I know” my older brother Xavier replied as he started to smile.

My brother was always the responsible cooking one of the family, since dad was getting older, we needed someone to look after us, Xavier is a cook, dad doesn’t care because that’s what mom wanted for him. 

Dad looked at me and saw a basketball player. 

“I’ll set the table” 

my little brother, Alex called, ever since his 8th birthday he thinks he has to be more mature. He wants to fly planes when he grows up. Dad doesn’t care about what Alex is though, honestly I sometimes wish I was Alex. “Yeah but remember we have people over tonight make sure to put some extra plates” Xavier called out from the kitchen. 

“Who’s coming over?” I asked

 “Oh just some friends of dads.” Xavier replied. 

“Which friends?” I asked, 

“Bill and Rich” dad replied,

 “of course” I muttered under my breath. 

They were dad’s best friends and their kids were the same age as my older brother and they play basketball, every time they come over all they talk about is basketball and how I am going to be such a great player and about how well their kids are doing. It’s the same thing every time. “Who’s ready for soup?!” My older brother screamed while waking up our dog Chloe. Chloe is 9 years old, she is a labradoodle and a terrier mix, her dirty blonde soft hair always glimmered wherever she went, her fur felt smooth like it had never been touched even though she plays in dirt and mud all the time.

“I WANT SOME!!” Alex screamed back,

 “I’ll wait” I said, “Save some for me though because if you think I’m eating dad’s leftovers from last night then think again.”

 Chloebarked as if she was in agreement.

  I walked into my room and threw my backpack on my bed and landed with a thud. I let out a sigh of relief and plopped down on my bed and immediately opened my backpack. I took out a book and as soon as I opened it I got that warm feeling again, and before I knew it the book was done. I didn’t have any other things I could read since I only brought one, because I knew that my backpack would be too heavy if I had more than one. I stepped outside of my room just to see that they only just started dinner 

“Back already?” 

my dad chuckled 

“Yeah I guess so, how long did it take to start dinner?” 

“Not that long although your little brother took way longer to set the table then he should have” 

my dad replied

 “Oh and you forgot to mention that he also spilled half of my tomato soup!!” Xavier yelled from the kitchen.

 “Hey I said I was sorry!” 

Alex called from his room, in a bit of a pouty voice. 

“Anyways, how was basketball with your friends? You were only out for 30 minutes” 

“Really??!!!!” I said in surprise it felt like at least 2 hours and every minute felt like a lifetime, I remember feeling like just going home and reading for hours. “Yeah” my dad said, “Why did you not enjoy it?”

 “Oh of course I did! It just…….felt like 10 minutes” I said kind of zoning out, 

“That’s my boy” my dad chuckled.

That was his favorite phrase, he said that to us A LOT.

 “Take a seat” Xavier demanded “I spent way too long making this just for half of it to spill! And then I made more tomato soup just for you guys!!!”

 “Ok ok calm down, but remember to wait for dads friends.” I warned Alex, he looked like he was ready to devour that whole bowl.

 “Fine.” Alex grumbled.

 “Oh stop complaining, they shouldn’t be too long.” Dad said.

   Not even 5 minutes after he said that we heard a knock on the door, suddenly I heard a deep voice say,

 “It’s Rich!” 

“Come in!” My dad called from the living room, he was sitting in his rocking chair. It was beaten up and had duck tape in all random places. It wasn’t the best but it has been with us since Xavier was born. 

“Ooooo something smells good in here!” Rich said in excitement.

 “Yes that would be my tomato soup.” Xavier said proudly,

 “When is Bill coming?” My dad asked.

 “He should be here in about half an hour, his shift is going later than usual, he says it’s harder to get used to, but he can manage.”

 Rich is Bill’s older brother. They have all been best friends since the 7th grade, Rich retired a couple of months ago he is 57 years old and used to work at a construction site so it makes sense that he retired. Bill is working at a target near our house, he works at the cash register, he used to work for some software company until he got laid off 7 months ago, but he still wanted to make money for his family so now he works at target. 

We sat down and got ready for dinner, I went to my room to hide my books, my dad always checks my room after dinner to see if it’s clean, I always make sure that I clean it or else he will throw a fit, I made sure to hide them behind my bed, cleaned my room, it only took me about ten minutes, and when I came out Bill was already at the table. 

He looked more tired than usual, and his typical spiky brown hair was more flat and almost looked like a deflated balloon. “Hey kiddo!” Bill said, his voice sounded more crackly and tired. He is the only one who understands me, he doesn’t know that I like poetry but I think has a feeling I do because I talk about it with him so much. 

“Sorry, we already started dinner.” My father apologized

 “Oh that’s ok, I’m not that hungry anyways, I had a big lunch.” I said, I didn’t even wait for a response as I headed to my room. 

I didn’t have anything to read, but I was exhausted, I laid down on my bed and started to doze off, next thing I knew I was in a land of clouds.

  When I woke up my two brothers, my dad, and his friends were all playing basketball outside. I decided to join them, I already slept enough to have the energy, and I had nothing better to do. As soon as I walked over my little brother screamed 

“I WON I WON I WON!!!!!!!” 

“Ok we get it, you won woo hoo” Xavier said in a sarcastic tone.

 I knew that he let Alex win on purpose, but he let him have his victory.

 “Come join us!” Bill said, 

“Ok, whose team am I on?” I asked 

“Mine! Mine! Mine! Pleeaaaasseeee…” Alex begged,

 “Ok fine.” I exhaled. 

“Let the games begin!!!” Xavier shouted. 

I obviously won the game for my little brother, but I told him he did all the work, we won by 7 points! When we ended it was fairly dark, and the grey clouds made it seem like it was night time even though it was only 6:30. I was dripping with sweat trying to catch my breath as I bent down to walk into our front door. 

When I walked in Chloe ran up to me and started rubbing up against my leg she smelled like waffles and old books, almost like having breakfast in a library. 

Dad walked in after me and went to his rocking chair. He turned around to look at the half cracked clock right above our front door. It read 6:35

 “Huh it’s way earlier then I thought, guess we had an early dinner.” My dad pointed out. 

“Welp I guess we should be heading home” Bill said, already approaching the front door. 

Bill and Rich live in a two story house, they live on the first floor, and they rented it from this middle aged nice man named “John” they rented it after their mother died, they wanted a new and fresh start away from their hometown, so they decided to move near my dad.

 “Time to say goodbye”

 “Bye!”

 We all said at the same time Chloe barked as if she was saying goodbye as well.

“See you tomorrow!” Rich called out at the last second before he turned and closed our wood door. 

It closed with a “squuuuueeeeaaaaakkk” as it always does. It makes it hard to sneak out to the library, so I usually go right after practice before I go home.

  “We are seeing them again tomorrow?” Xavier wondered. 

“Yes, but Bill has to bring his wife because the kids have to go to school, and she doesn’t want to be at the house all day.

 “So I have to make MORE soup tomorrow?” Xavier groaned.

 “Actually no, she is bringing her own lasagna.” 

“Thank goodness, I would have died if I had to make it again.” 

“Oh don’t be dramatic.” I chuckled. “You love cooking for people.”

As I got ready for bed in our small bathroom Alex pulled the toothbrush out of my mouth, “Whah oo yu wahnt” I stuttered I still have toothpaste in my mouth, I was in the middle of brushing me teeth. “Chloe ate my toothbruuussh.” Alex whined. “Whah am I suoopsed to do about it.” I said with a mouthful of toothpaste. “I need to use yours.” Before I could even spit out anymore words he started brushing his teeth, I spit the toothpaste out of my mouth and said “Your disgusting.” And went to my room. As I walked past the living room to go to bed my dad was snoring sound asleep in his rocking chair with a magazine on his stomach, and Chloe at his feet. They were both like little babies being rocked back and forth back and forth. 

Xavier was in his bed, probably eating again, he always eats before he goes to bed. I quietly walked to my room and laid down on my twin sized bed, as I did it made a squeaking noise, I got under the covers of my thick plaid blanket and tried to fall asleep.

The next morning was nothing different from every other week day. I got up, got ready for school, did all my classes, then went to practice and went to the library to drop off my books and get new ones, then I went home, did my schoolwork and Bill and Rich came over with Bill’s wife. Her lasagna wasn’t too bad but it wasn’t the best and Alex made that clear over dinner. Bill’s wife Sarah wasn’t insulted, she just went home with Bill and Rich and that was that. And it was the same thing for the next week until I finally had enough.

The next day I got up I felt like I just got hit by a tornado, my head was spinning and I couldn’t even sit up straight. I looked down at my old bunny socks to make everything stop spinning so I could focus on something. 

Today was the day that I was going to tell my dad that I didn’t want to do basketball and that I wanted to focus on studying writing, I didn’t plan for me to be so nervous and I especially didn’t expect for this day to ever come. But here I am with my palms sweating, a speech prepared and my old bunny socks. 

Dad wasn’t up yet I could decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing, it was good because I could prepare and get all my nervousness out of my system. It was bad because I finally built up the courage overnight to tell him and now I have to wait, which will make me second guess myself.

Over the next hour I kept going on and off deciding whether I should tell my dad or not, almost like I was a light switch being switched on, and off, on, and off. When dad woke up I had already made up my mind.

I stood before him tall and still like a statue.

“Good morning kiddo!” Dad said, as he always did when he woke up.

“Hi dad,” I said, sounding more nervous than ever. “I have something I want to tell you.” before he could say anything I told him how I felt

But before I could say anything something was stopping me. I felt like I was back in the third grade sharing a presentation, my hands were shaking, my head was spinning and I felt like I kept tripping on the sidewalk and couldn’t get back up. It felt like I kept getting cuts and bruises and people were laughing at me. “Hello? You ok Kiddo?” Dad said, sounding concerned and confused. I came back to the present realizing that I was zoning out and didn’t even say anything, “Oh sorry” I stumbled to my paper my eyes tearing from fear, my heart beating out of my chest and into my ears like I was reading to burst at any moment. Then I let my heart spill and take over my mouth. For the first time in forever I told my dad about my passion.

As I finished saying the last sentence of my so called “speech” I let out a sight of fear and relief but quickly held my breath again in fear of what dad thought.

“Well?” I said in a tiny voice.

“Wait let me get this straight” Dad sighed angrily. “You want to study in writing instead of basketball”

“Correct.” I stuttered

“First of all being a writer won’t get you anywhere, and second of all basketball is your calling”

“Why do you get to decide what I like to do, you’re ruining my life!” I blurted out.

“Fine. If that’s how you want to be, go to your room.”

“I’m not 5 anymore dad.” I said standing my ground.

“I said go.” 

“No.” I said being more stubborn than ever.

“BRYAN NORMAN PHILIPS!!” My dad shouted.

“FINE!” I shouted back. As I stormed to my room and slammed the door as loud as possible.

I felt like I was 5 again, that time me and dad got into an argument and I had a timeout. I remember planning to run away like all little kids do when they are upset. This was no different. Accept it was different in every way possible.

I didn’t leave my room after our argument, I was starving of course but I wanted to sit there and pout like a little baby. I reread my book over and over and over again until I finally fell asleep.

 I woke up to the sound of scratching against my door, it was Chloe, she usually sleeps in my room on my bed and I guess she didn’t want to sleep in her dog bed. 

I quietly opened the door as Chloe slipped in and jumped on my bed. She was quiet as she slept, the sounds of her slow breaths quietly were oddly soothing before I knew it, I was asleep.

The next morning was the worst morning I could EVER have. Besides the fact that it was a Monday, it was the end of summer break, which would mean I would have to find a university to go to, and my dad obviously wants me to go to one that would put you on live television for basketball. But here is the problem:

I only got half of a scholarship to go to a university, my dad was going to help me pay for the other half ONLY if I went to a basketball university. 

I was planning to go to a writing university but I don’t know how I would pay for the other half, yes I could get a part time job and work really hard but I couldn’t find any jobs that would work for my schedule that would pay me enough.

There was only ONE other option which was to ask my brother to help me.

This was very difficult because he is having a hard time paying and he is barely making enough to pay for his university.

So if I ask him to help me it would be really hard for the both of us. 

“Well I found a good university to go to”

“A basketball one” we both said at the same time.

“I’ll help you pay,” Xavier jumped in, like he knew what I was thinking.

“He won’t need your help” Dad said

“Yes he will because he is going to do what he wants whether you like it or not”  Xavier said, his voice getting deeper.

“I don’t need you to stick up for me,” I stuttered. “I can do it”

“No you can’t, and you know that.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll be fine” he said, not sounding totally sure.

“You’re going to the one that I choose, I am your father.” My dad yelled

“So? I am still my own person?!” I yelled back.

“You’re going.”

“No.”

“Then fine. Let your brother deal with it, watch him go broke!” Dad hollored loud enough to wake Chloe up, as he slammed the door to his room.

I felt my knees weaken as I fell back into his chair. 

“What am I going to do?” I mumbled choking back tears.

“I’ll help, I told you.”

“You can’t, what about you?”

“I’ll be fiiiinnneee. Trust me.”

“Then I have to move into the university, I know I get homesick, but I can’t have you helping me while I’m still living here.” I said as my stomach felt like it was flipping at just the thought of moving out, I get  really homesick and this will be my first time really being on my own if I do.

“I’m gonna move.” I said a little bit too loud. 

“But I still don’t know how I’m going to pay.”

“I’ll help.” Xavier jumped in.

I watched his fingers twine together and start fidgeting, that’s what he does when he is nervous.

“No you won’t.” I whispered.

“I want to.” He mumbled as his fingers slowly untied and his hands fell to his side while moving his long skinny arms.

I studied him for what felt like like an eternity before I said

“Fine.”

I woke up to the sound of shouting, it seemed like arguing. It was coming from my dad’s room, I figured he was just shouting at Chloe to get off his bed or something like that. But no. It was my dad and Xavier arguing!

I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but I had a feeling I already knew.

Somehow the shouting didn’t wake up Alex, and he slept until 8:40.

I of course couldn’t fall asleep until around 4 am and woke up to shouting and arguing at 7 am. I was so exhausted I couldn’t even stumble out of bed or sit up straight.

 It was too late to go back to sleep because now I have the unsettling thought of Xavier and my dad arguing about where I go to school. I know that I am my own person who can make my own decisions but I can’t make those decisions if I can’t even afford to go to the university of my choice.

I always thought when I was a child that basketball was my calling, now writing is what I want to do, but that dream is like a bunch of newspapers being crumbled and thrown into the trash.

During the entire day dad wouldn’t even make eye contact with me, Xavier went to his friends house to study while me, Alex, and dad stayed home and watched his favorite TV shows. Of course it was the typical “Tom and Jerry” and stuff like that. Whenever I wanted to watch my show he would scream and kick and throw a HUGE fit. It was like he was a cat always on alert and ready to pounce at any second. He said he got lots of sleep and he slept well but I could see the circles under his eyes. Then I asked:

“Did you sleep ok?”

“Of course I did! I slept all night I told you, now shut up and watch!!” Alexed yelled, putting more tension in the room.

“They woke you up didn’t they.”

“Yes ok? Fine I admit, yes.”

“Well thanks for telling me.” I said with a forever lasting award silence.

The rest of the day we just watched cartoons and played video games while dad slept in his rocking chair and snored louder than a fire truck. 

Then the day was over just like that. Xavier came home, we had dinner in absolute silence. The tension in that room was so thick that you could cut it with a knife.

Then I went to bed and that was that.

“Where are you going?” My dad asked as I tried to sneak out to the library. I decided there was no point in lying because he knew I was up to something.

“To the library” I admitted, I basically already was heading to my room knowing what he would say, and I was right.

“You can either play basketball or go to your room.”

“Bye then” I chuckled as I rushed to my room and slammed the door.

 I acted like I wasn’t upset, I acted like I was fine, I convinced myself I was fine. But some part of me that still wanted to keep dreaming knew that I had to go to a writing university. 

“Where is Xavier?” I asked as I burst the door of my room open

“In his room calling his friend.” My dad mumbled

“Thanks” I replied as I walked to his room.

“What do you want?” Xavier asked.

“Jeez excuse me I just wanted to talk to you, Royal Highness” I joked trying to hold the laughter down my throat.

“Shut up” Xavier chuckled, I could see he didn’t want to admit that I was making him laugh.

He turned his head to his phone and said:

“I‘ll call you right back” as he hung up the phone

“I want to accept your offer but I need to set some “rules” even though you’re the one helping out.”

“Go on..”

“Ok well if you’re going to pay, I’m going to get a job to help pay as well because we both no none of us can do it on our own.”

“But-“

“No buts, if you’re going to help you have to accept this one rule okay?”

“Okay” Xavier sighed as he turned his head to his phone again

“Hey” I jumped in

“Yes?”

“Thank you for being the best big bro ever and being really understanding”

“Don’t mention it, I’m always here to help my little bro.”

We both cringed and laughed realizing how cheesy we were sounding.

I walked out of his room as I chuckled to myself and tip toed pass Chloe as she was snoring and wagging her tail and then creaked open the door to my room.

After going onto my computer a finishing all my schoolwork and laying in bed for hours with no success of falling asleep I decided to make up my mind and stop giving myself excuses for not telling dad, this was my future and I needed to protect it, and choose it for my own instead of being forced into someone else’s instead of my own.

I slowly opened the door to my room like I was pushing away a big wall that was holding me back from the fear of rejection or disappointment. I was pushing it away from the first time and facing my fears.

“What do you want? Dad snarled as if he knew what I was about to say.

“I’ve made up my mind.” I said in such a bold voice that I sounded like a superhero. 

“Figured.” Was all dad said before closing his eyes and saying:

“Now go on.”

“Well I want to be a writer whether you like it or not and I want to pursue my dreams rather than yours, so I am taking Xavier’s offer and going to the university of my choice.”

“No your not”

“Yes I am! I am a grown adult!”

“Unless you want me to make it hard for you, you’re going to the place of my choice.”

“No I won’t let you control me, like you always do, I’m going whether you like it or not!” I raced to Xavier’s room before he could answer

“Ok I need to apply for school” I insisted “I already have some ideas.” Xavier replied. A few hours later in Xavier’s room we finally came up with a possible plan

“Ok!” I exclaimed, clapping my hands. “I think I’m going to apply to “UC San Francisco”

“Great! Are you going to apply now?” Xavier wondered.

“Maybe later today” I said not wanting to deal with all of this right now.

“So you’re 100 % sure it’s special is poetry?” I asked, wanting to change the subject.

“Yup trust me” Xavier replied.

“Good, thanks for all your help”

“Your welcome”

We both chuckled awkwardly and I left his room.

A few hours later I went to my room and took out my computer to sign up for the S.A.T. exam. As I did I thought about how my future life would be. No basketball, no arguing, and no sleepless nights filled with anxiety.

As I signed I went to bed straight away with no dinner. I was too excited and nervous to have an appetite.

2 Weeks Later

About 2 weeks laterI got an email. But it wasn’t just any ordinary email, it was an email from the “UC San Francisco” saying I could go to the school to take the test! 

As I read it my mind felt like merry go round, going round, and round, and round, until it finally stopped and my mind settled on the fact that I could actually take the test and go to the school!

Dad was out running some errands, I would ask Xavier to watch Alex while I’m gone and go to the school and come back before dad finds out. Whenever he goes on errands he goes for the whole day. I don’t know what he does but whatever it is it takes him all day. The worst that could happen is that dad finds out, and if he does then I really don’t care because this is my choice whether he likes it or not and I’ve learned to day that with confidence now.

The email read: 

We have accepted your request to take the test come to the school at 10:30 am to take the test, 

Wish you luck!

-UC San Francisco.

“Oh my god I can’t believe this is happening!” I said into the silence, there was no one there but I didn’t care, this was the moment of my dreams!

A week ago I visited the school to see what it was like, it was huge, way bigger than I would have ever imagined. 

The next week I spent studying, and studying along with schoolwork.

I felt like I have been studying for a lifetime. I knew I was ready, and I was prepared to pass.

As I got there it looked the exact same as when I visited, except with different people, and the environment was filled with more anxiousness and anxiety than usual.

As I approached the classroom it read “BG2P”

“this is it!” I thought.

“This is the classroom where I will be taking my test, where my dreams will come true.” I quickly shushed myself realizing I might not even get accepted and I might never be able to find the right University.

I couldn’t focus. The only thing I could do was put one foot in front of the other as I walked into the classroom and sat in an empty seat.

I read the clock that sat above the whiteboard, it read 10:31 I was late.

 The very thought of being really boggled my mind making it spin, and spin, and spin, just like a merry go round. 

I finally told myself to calm down and waited for the proctor to speak.

“You will have 2-3 hours to complete this test, if you don’t complete all the questions that is ok, there won’t be any added points for any incomplete questions, I will be passing out your booklets now. Good luck!” 

He said all that with such enthusiasm that he sounded like he was talking to 3rd graders, as they passed them out everything played in slow motion when he received his. He waited for everyone else to get theirs before he started working, he pulled out his pencil and started writing.

As the hours went by they felt like minutes, he barely felt like he knew any of the questions or even if he was confident enough to even try.

He ended up skipping 2 questions, he planned to finish them all but when he saw how many questions there were he knew he wasn’t going to finish them all.

He left, disappointed with himself but also proud of the same time but he could even get past one of the questions at all.

 Truly he had no idea if you could even pass, even if he didn’t he would still find a way to pursue his dreams, he had his mind set. 

And he was going to pursue his dreams even if it meant moving to the other side of the world.

I went back home that day to Alex and Xavier screaming at each other about what they would watch on the TV, obviously Xavier wasn’t Having any of Alex’s attitude. 

Thankfully dad wasn’t back yet.

When Xavier saw me he immediately stopped arguing and ran over to me. He gestured for Alex to go to his room so we could have a private talk, and surprisingly Alex listened.

“So?!” Xavier asked anxiously.

“So what?” I replied.

“Soooo how’d it go?” He exclaimed.

“Well….what do you expect me to say? I took the three hour test, I finished, and then drove home, and now I’m here. What else do you want me to say that there was a robbery or something?”

“Well kinda…” Xavier admitted

“ I just kind of thought something more interesting would happen.”

“Nope” I said as I shrugged my shoulders and headed to my room.

As I got to my room I did nothing special, I laid on my bed and I was out like a light. I was so exhausted all day from all the anxiety and that test drained all my brain power I had left.

Next morning dad was up. Nothing interesting happened. He didn’t  suspect a thing. It was just a normal day of him ignoring me and acting like I wasn’t there while Xavier kept pulling me into his room to ask questions, after question after question.

Nothing special ever happened to me for about 2 and half months until…

2 and a Half Months Later

The date was March 25th.

It was an ordinary morning. I woke up, dad was ignoring me and Chloe was barking at the other dogs outside. I was starting to get more anxious. 

I kind of forgot about applying for University. I was just trying to focus on getting through the day.

I checked my computer and I had one unread email.

I opened it expecting nothing new, probably just a school email. 

But as I read it I realized that it was from “UC San Francisco”

As soon as I read the email address so many things were running through my mind. 

It felt like it was a merry go round again, as it always does when I’m overwhelmed.

This time it was different. This time my mind was more than a merry go round, it was a race track with cars speeding left and right going the speed of light. Going too fast you can’t even see the cars, just like my thoughts, my head was spinning so fast I couldn’t even think.

I decided to read each word one by one so I didn’t have a panic attack, I didn’t want to overwhelm myself with too many words at once.

As I finished reading I had to reflect and think about the words I just read.

The words said:

We are glad to inform you that you have been accepted into UC San Francisco! 

Please come to your new school on August 26th by 8:00 school will end by 3:30.

You will have school 3 days a week.

Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 

Try not to be late on the first day.

Congratulations!

-UC San Francisco 

(If you have any further questions, email us and we will try to respond!)

“Am I hallucinating?” I thought to myself as I just sat there staring into the brightness of my computer screen. Looking at the email, re reading it over, and over, and over, to make sure I wasn’t making this up in my head.

I even pinched myself. I ran to Xavier’s room and told him the news.

Of course Xavier was happy for me and couldn’t wait for me to move out.

We weren’t planning to tell dad until I was moving out.

5 months later

I graduated school and I was all packed up and ready to move out.

Never kept track of months so he had no idea what the date was and he didn’t even know that I was planning to go to university.

“Where are you going with all those bags?” Dad asked

“School.” I replied with no more of an answer than that as I said my goodbyes to Alex and Xavier,

I had Xavier in my phone so I could call him and Alex whenever I wanted.

I don’t look shocked, overwhelmed, and furious.

He shouted at me as I was leaving the door to our house but I just ignored him and kept walking to my car.

It was hard leaving behind my old life but I was excited to pursue my dreams even if it meant cutting off communication with my very own dad.

About the Author:

The Author’s name is Tula Patrick. She grew up in San Francisco and was also born there as well, she still lives there to this day.

Tula was born in 2010 August 31.

She likes playing video games with friends, learning, as well as reading.

She wanted to write this short story to help any kids in this situation know that they are not alone and that you should always pursue your dreams.

She started this story in October and ended in December.

She hopes to write more stories and improve in the future.