L’il Retort woke up and heard banging outside. He looked out and saw a trash man, banging trash cans.
“Good morning, how are you doing on this amazing day?” The trash man said as he looked up at L’il Retort.
“Can you be quiet, and not bang around everything! Some people are trying to sleep!” L’il Retort responded back firmly like he always did.
The trash man nodded and went on with his work.
L’il Retort looked at his clock. “Oh gee it’s already 8:15, I am supposed to be at work at 9:00! Stupid alarm clock, why don’t you work!?!?” L’il Retort kicked his alarm clock and walked down to his kitchen and got some breakfast.
L’il Retort decided to watch tv as he ate his breakfast. As L’il Retort screamed at the TV, he got a call from Mrs. Saccharine.
“Sorry to interrupt you this beautiful morning, but you are being a bit loud, and my kid is trying to sleep. I was wondering if you could quiet it down a bit.”
“I don’t care if your child is trying to sleep.” L’il Retort answered back “Goodbye!”
L’il Retort put the phone down and continued with his breakfast.
When L’il Retort was done eating, he ran upstairs and took a shower. As soon as he stepped out of the shower, he got another phone call.
“Oh my gosh, is this the woman who called earlier?” He screamed. “I don’t care if your kid is still trying to sleep!”
“No, actually it’s not. It’s Mr. Piqued.” The voice said sounding irritated as always. “Why are you still not here? You have 30 minutes.”
“Okay, okay, I am coming!” L’il Retort screamed. L’il Retort hung up and walked to his car annoyed.
As L’il Retort walked to his car, he banged into Mr. Peevish, who was looking annoyed as always. “Watch where you are going Mr. Peevish.”
“You have eyes too. You watch where you are going.” Mr. Peevish fired back.
“Whatever, I have to go.”
L’il Retort got into his car and got to his job in 10 minutes. As soon as L’il Retort got to his job, Mr. Apathy yelled at him.
“Why are you so late!?! You know you have to always be an hour early. You have been slacking off lately, and it’s not okay. I am starting to get irritated of this behavior.” Mr. Piqued screamed.
“I made it, didn’t I? And the crowd isn’t even angry. I even have 10 minutes to get ready!” L’il Retort responded back.
“You can not talk to me that way,” Mr. Piqued said, getting more irritated with each word.
“I just did.” L’il Retort fired back.
L’il Retort just made a huge mistake. “You are fired! Luckily we have a backup that I like very much. And I am not irritated with her, unlike you.”
“Who is this perfect angel!?” L’il Retort said backing up a bit.
“Concurring Cleo. I called her in when it was 45 minutes to the show, and you still weren’t here. You can leave now, and we won’t be needing you anymore.” His boss walks away.
Oh, shoot. I just made a huge mistake. This is the only job I actually like, L’il Retort thought to himself. L’il Retort walked out of the studio, banging the door on his way out.
As he walked home he saw Mr. Peevish looking angry and annoyed as he always did.
“Oh look who it is.” Mr Peevish said.
“Hey…”
“Why are you extra grumpy now?” Mr. Peevish asked. “That’s my thing.”
“I just got fired from the only job I liked cause I was 45 minutes late. Gosh, my boss, or my old boss, is so annoying.”
“Ehhhhh, who needs jobs?”
“I got to pay my rent.”
“Hey, people like us scare people, so I don’t actually pay my rent and the landlord.”
“My landlord is just like us though. He isn’t going to get scared by me” L’il Retort didn’t know what to do.
“Come live with me. I have an extra room. I mean if you want to.” Mr. Peevish said, hoping L’il Retort would say yes, he wanted a friend that wasn’t going to be so annoying and nice.
“Ummm. I don’t really know you…” L’il Retort started. “But whatever I have nothing to lose now. My stupid neighbor always complains how her child needs to sleep, and it would be pretty nice not having to deal with her, and all my other neighbors.
ONE MONTH LATER
All L’il Retort would do was stay in Mr. Peevish apartment, sleeping, eating, and watching TV. Mr. Peevish was getting annoyed more than usual, coming back every day to messy L’il Retort on his couch.
“Ok I am done with this, you need to get a job.” Mr. Peevish said annoyed as always.
“I only liked my hosting job, so NO!!” L’il Retort yelled back.
“Well get your old job back, because you are not spending one more day just on my couch all day.” Mr. Peevish walked away.
Mhhhhh, get my job back? Wait that’s actually a good idea, I should get my job back. For once L’il Retort couldn’t wait to talk to someone. He needed to talk to his old boss. After a week of thinking, L’il Retort decided to go back to the studio where he used to work.
A week later, L’il Retort woke up early. He ate breakfast, somewhat quietly, then took a shower. After that, he got dressed and headed out to his car. L’il Retort knew he had to be nicer. If he wanted his job back, he had to respond back nicely.
L’il Retort walked into the studio and walked right into someone. “Watch where you are going! I mean, are you ok?” L’il Retort said, unnaturally. As soon as he looked up, he recognized the face. “Are you Concurring Cleo?”
“Oh yes, I am. And who are you?” Concurring Cleo said.
“I am L’il Retort. I am looking for the boss.”
“Oh, you’re the guy who got fired a month ago. You can find him in his dressing room.”
“Thank you.” L’il Retort said as he faked a smile. L’il Retort headed to the boss’s room, and knocked on the door.
“Come in,” said a voice from inside the room.
L’il Retort opened the door. “Heyyyy.”
“Um, what are you doing here, I thought I fired you a month ago,” the boss said.
“Sorry to bother you… but I was wondering if I can have my job back. I promise I will be nice, and on time.”
“Oh, thank god. No one likes Concurring Cleo. She is soooooo irritating and boring, because all she does is agree with everyone. When you were on the show everyone liked it cause it would create drama. I will happily give you your job back.”
“Oh really? That was easy. Thank you, boss, you won’t regret it.” L’il Retort said, in a non-retorting kind of way. He was starting to learn when to retort and when to just be polite. He realized being polite might benefit him.
L’il Retort headed home and banged open the door. “I GOT MY JOB BACK!!”