I don’t know how to be beautiful

and rotten

I don’t know how to be prideful

and ashamed

I don’t know how to be myself

and conform to who they are

I don’t know how to hide in plain sight.

I feel as though my shoes are to big

I stumble over myself trying to get it just right

I bow my head when we speak of the nightmares in the past

But i don’t hold myself responsible

It wasn’t me

I don’t know how to breathe this air

and not suffocate

I am confused

I am tired

I am lost

I don’t know how to be American.