April 12th, 1862

Hi Momma, 

I’m writing from the hospital. Don’t worry, I’m fine. I just had a bit of shell come too close, and they wanted to check on me. I am kind of scared now though. It’s not a joke anymore. Earlier, me and the boys were playing cards, laughing, having a great time, but now, it’s not a game anymore. Life’s scary, but you gotta get through it. 

We’re in Tennessee now. In a little town called Pittsburgh Landing. We just fought a big battle, and I think we won. I picked up a gun an’ shot some rebel. We looked like we was gonna lose, but the next mornin’ a  ton of new Yanks showed up.  General Grant walked through our hospital today. He was holdin’ a bottle a’ whiskey, so I guess the stories are true. I asked him, “why we fightin? Why does this war matter?” He was kinda confused about why a 12 year old was in an army hospital. I told im’ “well, bein’ a civilian was weird for me. I couldn’t just sit there at home. Me an’ my momma were just sittin’ there when a young man walked in. He said “ anyone here can go fight a war?” and I immediately  jumped up and said “yea”. He was really confused,  but I was a very tall 12 year old, so I told him I’m 18.  He somehow believed that, and off I went.” General Grant was in shock. He just looked at me and that felt like a million’ years. Then he walked off mumbling. 

April 7th was crazy. All the boys were shootin’ those dang rebels, and i was drummin’ to the beat until the cannons started firing. I watched some o’ my friends get shot. It  was real scary, but I somehow stayed there keepin’ the beat. I saw a confederate nearby, so I picked up some yankee’s pistol and pulled that trigger. If I didn’t, he would’ve, so I’m sorry I had to do it. I heard some story about a general named Benjamin who gave himself up to protect his men. How did he find the courage to do that? How did he keep his humanity bein’ thrown around in prison? I only kept mine because of all the fun and games all of us had before the battle. I was laughing, gleeful, and all-around happy. I think I also kept it through fear, with all the gunshots around me. I really do hope I can see you soon.

I can’t wait to see you again. War makes no sense. Why we fightin? Because some rebel shot a cannon at a fort? Or because we need to stand up for what’s right and show it on a global scale. Either way, I just wanna keep bein’ with all my friends. Maybe come home for a month or so and keep you company. Say hi to grandma for me!  

From, 

Johnny Clem, your son