July 10, 1863

Dear Pa,

So many things have gone wrong since the war began. You an’ Johnny left to become soldiers for the Confederacy an’ then Ma and I hear that so many are dying! We’re so frightened for you both, and at night I can hear Ma in bed crying. The last few weeks have been awful, the Union soldiers have come by and taken everything they could carry. What’s worse is that in the first days of this July, war broke out close to home. The battle turned against us on the third day and I feel that I have no hope left in me. Nearly every garden an’ field around Gettysburg is a bloody graveyard full of bodies. Ma is still working in the temporary hospital set up in our local church. Can you believe it? The church we all used to attend as a family is now full of dying and wounded soldiers, so many that there is barely room for the nurses to walk. Many of the public buildings around here are now hospitals, even some homes as well. I tremble when I remember the day I heard the battle begin. I was just walkin’ over to the well to get some water to boil for supper when I heard the violent noises of blasts and guns. I guess General Lee felt confident enough to risk another invasion of the North, but he was defeated and so Ma’s spirit was finally crushed. She has not been the same, the other events of the war so far have not had such a great affect on her as this. Even though the you Confederates have less resources she was still confident in you. Now she freezes up whenever she hears of the war and I barely see her other than for meals, which she never finishes.

I have to admit that the war has been getting to me as well. It’s hard to sleep at night for all of my worries. I think the only reason I have not cracked like Ma has is because I have been playing with the other children in the schoolyard. Suzy is always there when I arrive. I think the war has been even harder on her. Her Ma died when she was eight and now she lives with her grandma alone because her father has gone to war as well. We play the nurses for the soldiers, and the boys are always the soldiers. The thing I don’t understand is what war accomplishes. I understand that we are fighting for something that we believe in but so many people are getting hurt and killed. I just want it to be over already, I want you and Johnny to come home and I want to be able to see Ma smile again. I don’t believe that this war is worth it and I just want things to be back to how they were. I miss you both.

Love,
Sandra