May 20, 1863

Dear Jefferson Pike,

It’s me Stephen, your brother. It sure has been a long while since we have last spoken, that is my fault. I’ve been fighting in this damn war for so long I have lost track of time. Anyway, I’ll put a hold on my blabbering until I see you again. It seems this war has been going on for eternity, yet it has only just begun. The amount of men I’ve seen drop dead is unimaginable. I’ve been in my share of fights, but Vicksburg is just completely different. I don’t know if i’ll ever be able to write back to you, so i’ll make this one count.

This battle has been going on for hours now, and I don’t think it will be over any time soon. US Grant seems unphased by any of this, but all the men are taking a beating. I’ve seen people try and run, just to be pinned to the ground by the next two victims of this ongoing slaughter. Our last attempt to push to the city failed, and we sure paid for it… We pushed in from all sides, just to get gunned down yet again. Everything we have tried has either failed or backfired – I don’t know how much more my men can take. But who am I to say what they can and can’t do. 

Who knows what will happen, I’m just glad to be alive in the moment, nothing more I could ask for. Yet I don’t think I can take it much longer, I got nicked in the leg and have been struggling to walk since, it’s really made me think about what this is all for, and why we are doing it, but that’s a story for another time. Here on the front line it’s different, and not in a good way. Every once in a while, there’s a break in the gunfire, and I can hear the faint singing of the men in the city. This has sure brightened our mood a bit, and sometimes we even join in. It’s little things like these that maintain our humanity, to give everyone just a moment of relief, a moment that we all need. 

I don’t know why we are doing all this fighting, that’s still a blur in my mind. War changes a man, shows them what it’s really like to have to fight for their lives. What it really means to have to struggle, and work for something you so dearly believe in. May our deeds in this world pay off at some point, whether that’s five years from now, or 157 years. If people were just willing to work together, none of this would’ve happened. But hey, I’m just a man fighting for what I believe in, we can just hope that at sometime, it will all be worth it, not only for us, but for everybody.

Hope to see you another day,

                             Stephen.