Wednesday, September 17, 1862

Dear diary, 

It all began early in the morning where the Confederates met with us Union troops at Maryland’s Antietam creek. The fighting began and the one day battle ended up being the bloodiest single day battle in American military history. This battle met the culmination of the first southern invasion into northern states. I heard from a fellow soldier that Lincoln had put General McClennan in charge of defending DC against confederate general Robert Lee’s invasion. The fighting officially started at dawn and lasted for eight hours where it was reported that over 15,000 lives were lost.

It’s only been a few hours since the Confederates open fired on some of our troops while we were leaving a corn field. A bloodbath ensued, and we lost a lot of good men. I’ve seen some good friends pass today. One of which was only 19 years old and he was shot right in front of my eyes. I’m currently taking a defensive position along with some other soldiers behind a creek. We have had a long day of fighting and hard knocks and we are currently about to get some rest. But before bed I read my bible and pray to god that he will keep me safe tomorrow. Praying and finding god has been a way that I have kept my humanity at a time where we are seen as pawns for our government. We’re rationing our food supply which is mostly made up of hard tack and supposedly pork, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was really horse meat. All day long we heard the sound of long rifles and screams of soldiers that were hit by hornets and started bleeding out on the floor around us. We see them taking their last breaths as their bibles and pictures of their kids and wifes drop out of their pockets. 

 I have questioned many times throughout the war if all the pain and suffering is worth it. If seeing my friends being killed daily is worth keeping the country together. My answer has varied a lot but as I have heard more stories about what the South is doing to slaves and how if they win it will continue. That makes my answer very clear. This war is completely worth it if it means that families can be reunited and a big portion of the population will be treated like humans.