Dear Diary,

It’s July 5th, 1863 and we are still fighting the South. On July 1st-3rd we had the biggest battle against the South so far. I cannot believe how lucky I am to even be writing this right now.

 I was under the command of General Pickett and he and General Lee had the great idea of sending about 15,000 troops toward Cemetery Hill…I hope they realize now that they are complete idiots because we just lost countless lives, probably close to 10,000 men. Yesterday, at the end of the fight, we went back to the battlefield to gather the men who fought with us, but did not make it. It is the honorable thing to do after they sacrificed their lives for our future. Their graves weren’t very pretty, but at this point, nothing in the war is pretty. There wasn’t much of it, but we also took some of the Fed’s weapons and ammunition they’d left on the field. We’re trying our best but we have lost a great amount of soldiers. Some are dying from casualties, but others from other things not injury related such as dysentery. It’s an intestinal disease causing severe diarrhea. Yes, people are dying from diarrhea.

On the brightside, I’ve met a lot of people in the trenches, wagons, or trains. I’ve even seen a couple kids fighting in the war. However there is one person in particular I’m thinking about. I met another soldier last week. He’s been keeping me positive and giving me strength. I feel close to him the way that I never have with a man. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, because I have everything I’ve ever wanted. I have 2 beautiful children and a loving wife. I am scared of myself because of my feelings for him. 

I see friends, brothers, fathers, mentors dying left and right. I hate being in the war. We’re constantly hungry, the weather is really bad, we haven’t showered in 2 weeks so everyone stinks, and we have nothing to do in between battles. And to make matters worse, we are being woken up at the crack of dawn to start our day of fighting or training. I got drafted into the war, so it’s not like I had a choice, but I guess part of me is happy that I am fighting for my country. If the Confederates hadn’t participated in slavery, there would be no war and I wouldn’t’ve seen my best friend shot right in front of me. It’s just inhumane that some people think that humans should be treated differently by the color of their skin. I just have to stay alive. Stay alive. As I’m writing this there is very heavy firing to the right of me about 5 o’clock. By the sound of it it’s coming right in our direction. I better get ready.

-Sergeant Charles Johnson