July 18, 1863

Dear Susannah,

I am prepared to die. There is no point in living. Where the food we receive is causing our bodies to decay, friends are sworn to die by our righteous government, and I’m to be perceived as different as a freed slave, I am not afraid of death. But welcoming it to the dream of America. Dead bodies flood the ground. What prevails to be a bigger obstacle, our lost vision of a United America, or the inundating feelings of despair? May the result we find be justified by the approach we take? Or will the founders’ vision of America be obstructed by the chaos war resides upon? I am willing to die, as long as my corpse can cohere the vision to fight. 

Regardless of the impact my small body may have, I am going to fight, in a country where my intent can make thousands of lives unburden. As my colleagues prepare to attack on the penetrable fort Wagner, I write this letter to you, as my parting wish. For I was not born a slave to support the torture which was burdened upon my family. Free, I will fight for my country, as I was born the same, I will continue to fight with the same common goal: for the love of my dying country. I am not disappointed to be born with disadvantages, for those are the reasons I stand with not shame, but humanity, for the beautiful power vested in me, I will fight for our country. This is how I keep my humanity. I have a duty, to keep our old flag, raised above my head, to never touch the floor. 

I will remain ignorant of the pains of death. To become a symbol of liberty as I will hold our flag as a beacon to continue. We will fight for our country, for the justice of slavery. When it is needed, war must begin. While the approach may be gruesome and regretful, the outcome will be worth it. This is why I will fight. I’ve held on using games and the memories of loved ones, this is where I can finally let go.

I am a part of the fifty fourth regiment of Massachusetts, ready to bombarge Fort Wagner in the Charleston Harbor in South Carolina, we are the first African American regiment raised in the north, it is the afternoon of July 18, 1863, and I am prepared to die. 

I love you, and I appreciate you. But at the moment, I am not worried about the outcome of my life, I am only thinking about the outcome of this war. I am not worried about fighting. To keep my humanity, my country is of utmost importance. For me, this government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the Earth; with that small form of insurance, I may finally die happily, knowing I have succeeded. 

My parting wishes,

Your spouse, William Harvey Carney 

Fifty-fourth Massachusetts regiment