“Tara! Tara!”

I snap out of my trance. “Huh? Oh, what, I’m sorry,” I replied. 

“C’mon they’re about to start the ceremony!” Immediately, I jump out of my chair and look for a seat in the audience. As soon as I’m seated, I start planning my route to the stage when we get paired up. It’s hard to see over everyone in front of me who is not seated yet. I’m only 5”3, so the chances of me being able to see over the people in front of me are very slim. Most of my community is very tall. I’m not sure why, but for as long as I can remember everyone was much taller than me. My brother is 5”7. And he’s 2 years younger than me! Everyone is given a soulmate, partner, or match. Whatever you want to call it. The rules are simple: 

*Don’t hang out with people other than your soulmate for more than half and hour at a time. For the first 5 years of having a soulmate you can still be a kid, but when you’re 17-18 you have to follow this rule.

*No one is allowed by the bridge on the East side of our town. People who go there don’t come back. 

*You can’t tell your soulmate about your family, or your friends, or anything about your past self. 

*You’re not allowed to have an intimate relationship with anyone. Some soulmates get chosen to procreate, but love is forbidden. It is strictly forbidden.

*And the best one: Everything your soulmate does, you do. Normally it happens instinctively but sometimes you will have to be told to do it by your soulmate. And if you don’t do it, well actually no one has ever disobeyed that rule. All I know is that it’s not going to be “good” if you don’t do it.

I don’t really understand rules 1-3. I don’t know if many people DO know why those rules exist. Everyone is seated now and the matchmaking is happening. There’s a long 3 minutes of silence in the whole auditorium. Nobody said a word. Everyone is nervous. The moms and dads want their child to get a good soulmate, and the siblings watch how it’s done for when it’s their turn. Every child who is 12-13 gets a soulmate. 

“The ceremony will begin shortly,” the woman over the speaker says. She’s trying to sound calm but I can tell there’s something wrong. 

“Are you excited?” the boy next to me says. 

“I guess. You?” I whisper. He nods his head. I see a woman walk out onto the stage. She  looks in shock. She’s holding a pink piece of paper in her left hand. I think it’s the soulmate match list. A man from backstage walks out to her at a speed slightly faster than a walk that makes my stomach feel queasy. What’s going on, I wonder. 

The woman says to the man, “Tara can’t be with mhms!”. I lost that last part because she walked away from the mic. Is she talking about me? Or some other Tara I don’t know about? The man escorts her off the stage and a new woman with a pink paper walks onto the stage.

Finally she calls my name. “Tara and Marcus.” I see another boy stand up. We are on opposite sides of the auditorium. We look at each other and then walk to the stage. Once we’re up there we shake the woman’s hand and walk off the stage. I see the previous woman behind the stage, talking to The Judge. The Judge decides people’s fates. And whether or not they should be killed, or be a procreator. The woman looks terrified. The man standing next to her is wearing all black and is holding a tray. Marcus has already walked off the stage. I walk off the stage but out of the corner of my eye, I see the man in black put something into the woman’s arm, and within seconds she collapses into the other escort’s arms. 

As time went on…, things became blurry. Life fades. There’s no innocence. No happiness anymore. My soulmate and I barely talk. I can’t see my friends for more than a half an hour at a time now. I’m estranged from my parents. Even my baby brother is being matched today. I’m all alone. I look out my window and see 3 little kids bouncing a ball. “Ugh,” I say in disgust. I slam my curtains closed. I walk towards the kitchen, place my elbows on the counter and my hands on my head. I catch a glimpse of something shiny. My scissors. The tips are rusted with dried blood, but they still get the job done. I open the scissors and put one blade right above my arm. It comes in contact with my skin. It’s cold at first but then it feels familiar. I take one deep breath, and RIIIINNNNGGGG!!!! RIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!! 

“God!” I blurted. My voice boomed in my small 1-bedroom apartment. My mother is calling me on my cell phone. I hit decline. She calls again. I hit decline. She calls a 3rd time but then it stops ringing. Silence. BING! A text. It reads: ‘Fine. You don’t have to talk to me but I think it’d be nice if you showed up for your brother at the ceremony and after party.’

I put the scissors down, throw my phone into my bag, and just like that I’m out of the door.

The after party is just the soulmates talking with each other. I have no idea where Marcus is. Probably didn’t even care to show up. Why am I not surprised? People say I’m different from when I was younger, but I just grew up. Realized how the real world works. There aren’t rainbows, and fairy godmothers. You have to fend for yourself. One’s self is the only person you can ever trust. Besides my brother. And if you ask me Marcus is the one who’s been in withdrawal and isolating himself. Just as I’m about to leave the party, someone grabs my hand and puts a piece of folded paper in it. I look around for who did that, but there’s so many people it could be anyone. I go outside to read the note and for a breath of fresh air. 

“Meet me at the East Bridge,” I mumble. “ East Bridge?” I say again. Whoever wrote this must be out of their mind because no one is allowed on the East Bridge. But it’s not closed off or anything and I’m feeling risky, so I go. 

When I got to the bridge, I was in shock. It was dark so I strained my eyes to see, but the ground was bloody. I looked up. I saw Marcus standing over a body covered in blood.

“So you got my note?” he says walking a few steps away from the body. I try to speak but nothing comes out. I don’t want to look weak, in front of the person holding a knife, so I just nod my head. 

“Rule #5 honey. Do everything your soulmate does. I killed him. Now it’s your turn. Choose wisely. Who’s it gonna be? Tara.” My breaths are shallow, but I have to seem confident. He drops the knife. 

“Why are you doing this?” Now I’m really scared. 

“Ya know it’s kinda funny. You wouldn’t harm a fly. In fact, the only person you’ve ever hurt is yourself.” he says. I make a fist. “What? You think I wouldn’t notice those scars on your arms?” he says egging me on. 

“I had no choice!” I yell. 

“Bullcrap! You always have a choice. If I remember correctly you have a pretty big one to decide in the next-” he looks at his watch,“4 minutes!” 

“4 minutes! God Marcus! You make me do this and then you give me 4 minutes to do it?” I hiss. 

“Or I could just kill you…” he whispers as he steps closer to me. 

“Fine.” I mutter. I look around. Complete peace. Not for long. I grab the knife, run and stab him in the stomach. He gasps and clenches the knife with both his hands. “It’s called a loophole. Honey.” I have some satisfaction that I beat him at his own game, until I see the horror on his face. I’m bleeding. In the same spot he is. I don’t feel any-”Agh!”. There is a sharp, sawing pain in my stomach. I try to breath but I can’t catch my breath.

“Goddammit! Don’t you realize what you’ve done?!” He screams, then winces from the pain. “Don’t you get it?!”, he takes another breath, “If I die, you die.” I don’t say anything in response. Instead, I give him a cold, intense glare. “I admit.” he says, and pulls the knife out. “No! Aggghhhhhh!!!” I yell, in so much pain now.” I was wrong about you,” he continues,“You’re just like me.” 
I feel my other hand contracting into a ball. “I am nothing like you.” I say between breaths. He caves in and drops to the floor. I lie down next to him in solidarity. “Marcus?”. No response. Oh right, I killed him. I hear some faint yelling and footsteps, but it’s too late now. I clench my teeth, gasp for one last breath, gaze up at the stars above, and let my eyes close.