Devious Devin woke up to the sound of garbage trucks passing and sirens wailing. He hopped out of his dumpster and waddled his way to the public bathroom around the corner.

Thursdays were hard. The trash men came early, around 4:30am, and he had to be up so that no one would see him. He was up late trying to steal cars from a dealership around the corner. He usually didn’t do this, but this week was National Crime Week. Robbers and burglars had a competition to see who could make the most money stealing stuff and reselling it. Devious Devin had never won. He was determined that this would be the year he would win the prize of $100,000 and bragging rights. 

As Devious Devin came around the corner, he ran into a problem. A gang of boys double his size was standing before him. Devious Devin started to make a run for it, but before he could make it back around the corner, he knew it was game over. 

In no time, Devious Devin was beaten to the ground by the gang. The pummeling lasted for at least five minutes before a garbage truck almost ran them over. When Devious Devin tried to get up, his legs felt like they were going to collapse under him.  

As he struggled, the gang ran away. This was followed by yelling. Devious Devin glanced up to see what the commotion was about. A man in a long white jacket was walking toward him. He had his arms up and was yelling. Devious Devin gave up on getting up and lay on his back. The man stood over him with his hands out, willing to help. Devious Devin concluded he was a doctor. 

“I don’t have any money,” whispered Devin.  

The man did not speak; he took out gauze and started wrapping Devious Devin’s legs. “Get on,” he said, motioning to his back. 

Devious Devin knew he had no choice if he wanted to compete today. He hopped on the man’s back and they started down the street. The ride was bumpy and the man kept on stumbling and tripping. After a long and shambling ride, they finally made it. 

  A little chime welcomed them into the man’s office. Flowers made the room smell good. The man took Devious Devin in and started to unwrap the gauze from his leg. Devious Devin felt pain as the doctor slowly rubbed different chemicals on the wounds. After forty-five minutes of torment and discomfort, the man shoved Devious Devin out the door and closed it. Why would he be so rude, Devious Devin thought. Maybe he thought I was stealing from him? People could be so impertinent.

What would Devious Devin do now? The contest was in three hours and he still hadn’t stolen anything. Devious Devin remembered the car lot he tried to rob yesterday. He figured this was his only chance. He limped his way to the dealership. When he got there, no one was there except for a sleeping dog that looked like a dead rat. He saw the key rack right above the dog’s head, so he slowly reached over and snached the key. But in the process another key fell right on top of the dog’s head! Surprisingly, nothing happened and the dog lay there soundly. Devin tip-toed around the corner to find the car to match the keys. He drove it straight out of the parking lot. Not soon after, he started being chased by cops.

He took a quick right and went straight into an alleyway.  He had lost the cops and now all he had to do was get to the contest. Devious Devin could do a lot of things, but not drive. He ran into dumpsters and houses and potted plants. And before he could even get to the contest, he had dismantled the car. Devious Devin got out and started to limp back to his dumpster. It was now close to 4:30 pm, so the contest was over and someone else had already claimed the prize. Another year had gone by, and Devious Devin had not won. He hopped into his dumpster and lay down, staring at the sky. Maybe next year, he thought, and fell asleep. 

The End